Still Daddy's Girl

Today, I'm going to go to the hospital with my mom while my dad has another cardiac cath test done. This is the umpteenth time he's done this, I cannot believe how hard he has to battle with his health. He's still always so upbeat, and nice, and patient, I can hardly imagine how he does it. How can someone be in that much pain w/arthritis and neuropathy, cardiac problems, back problems, diabeties, etc, and still be happy? He's an example for the rest of the world, I'll tell you that much. I know that I may seem fine on the outside, but on the inside I'm pretty much a mess. Maybe he masks it like I do, but I just don't think so.
Every time something else happens with him, I panic. He's my pops, you know? I can't imagine my life without his always witty remarks, the best hugs in the world, and the broadest shoulders to lean on when you need it. Say a prayer today, blog world, for the best dad in the world. One more time, Dad. I'm sorry that you are always going through this, its not fair. I love you, Daddy.

Hello, old friend

Its been quite a long time since I've last sat here and typed on the computer for myself. I was really finding this enjoyable and have since forgotten how much. Today, I read my wonderful sister in law's blog and remembered how much I liked doing it myself. Since I don't do much for myself these days, maybe a few minutes here or there might be a good thing.
My life has changed so much. I now manage my own pharmacy and have become a specialist in HIV care. I work with many patients on a very personal basis. Many of them have become my friends, not just patients, which changes things in ways that I've never expected. I find such joy when a patient's viral load goes down, or their CDC count goes up. Small accomplishments can mean so much. Shoot, when I graduated there were 3 HIV drugs available commercially, now there are over 25 and more on the horizon. I provide more of a concierge type pharmacy service, and have found my particular niche in this arena. I work with a doctor that I feel is really a great provider.
My boys are getting so big. We made a big switch and left Catholic school for a charter school. I haven't questioned my decisions in live like that ever before. Somehow, by the grace of God, its working. My oldest & my hubby are going on an international trip this summer, they have music (MUSIC!), and they're all doing well.
Things have been so crazy for me emotionally. I had gotten to where I was questioning myself too much. Perhaps I can chronical my passage here, again, old friend. Just you and I.
Here's to a new 2011. Thanks, Lisa, for reminding me that I loved doing this. Here's for more to come......

Water, Water, we have Water!

Finally, after over 24 hours, we were able to defrost the pipes leading to our first floor bathroom & we now have water. Luckily, we did this with minimal damage, we only cut out a small panel of drywall in the pantry and another in the bathroom. Since the pipes are run entirely in the walls, there was no direct access to them to apply heat tape or any other device that would be made to fix such a problem.
So, we went about it the old fashioned way. Yep, we got out the hair dryer. And, the space heaters. While one of us was in 1 room holding the hair dryer to the pipes we exposed by tearing out the drywall, the other was watching the faucets, praying for the smallest drip. Then, it came. Finally, we had water flowing in both the hot & cold pipes! Score!
Strange things please me, obviously. But, we have a houseful of people coming over in 2 days & it would have really sucked to make them all walk up the steps to the bathroom.
Two days until Christmas! I'm excited. We are going to try to go to the 10pm mass on Christmas eve if we get all of our guests out of here. I think that would be really cool, plus the boys would already be dressed up from the party so that makes things extra easy for me. My boys are going to be happy this year, somehow we were able to find some great buys on the items that they wanted (thanks to hubby for shopping on Black Friday, actually), and some items that we've had left over from holidays past when we overbought. We didn't do presents for each other this year, we just didn't have the money. That's ok, watching my boys is more than I've ever needed. I never know what to tell anyone to get me, I'm not at my smallest size ever and hate to get clothes, or tell anyone my true size, and I really don't need much else.
Anyhooo, here's to a busy day tomorrow getting finished cleaning up. Merry Christmas, blog world.

Tis the Season

Yesterday, we dropped the boys off at my parents house and headed out to dinner with my brother, sister in law, sister, & brother in law. This is the 4th year in a row that we've been able to do this fun evening, my parents have all the little grandkids (12 & under), while the parents go out to dinner & then we all leave each other to go finish our Christmas business. We had a fun dinner at a steak place & then headed home to wrap up our presents. We are 99% done. Thats quite an accomplishment considering that we have 3 boys, I think. And, today I was able to finish up the wrapping for everyone else, too. For once, I will not be scrambling on Christmas day to get the wrapping done for my nieces & family.
Unfortunately, we woke this morning to no water in our 1st floor bathroom. It seems to have frozen over night. We've had heaters running for the entire day & no luck. The pipes are built into the walls. To get to them, we will have to cut out the walls. Christmas is in 3 days. And, we are having about 25 people over for Christmas eve festivities. Just our luck, of course. And, the beautiful Christmas lights and display that my hubby spent 2 days working on has pretty much been torn to shreads by the extreme wind we've been experiencing.
Also, we decided for some unforseen reason to bring over several more totes and bags full of stuff from our old house that now has to be sorted & put away. The office is a disaster. There's stuff everywhere. And, my cleaning lady (that used to clean for us to pay her rent), quit. The dreams I had of enjoying the days before Christmas are pretty much shattered. Cookies, forgetaboutit. Toilet cleaning & mopping, here I come. What fun, what joy.
On a bright note, I've gotten to spend the weekend w/my family, which I don't do very often. Yesterday, w/my siblings & today, w/kids & everybody out at my brother's house for an impromptu chili supper. I wish so much that we lived closer, it took me over an hour to drive there tonight. I would love to be able to see my mom & dad more often, to be able to pop in & say hi, but that's kindof hard when its a major ordeal to get there. Thank goodness for phone calls & email, but its still not totally the same. Feeling a little melon-colly tonight, I guess.
At least my Christmas star is turning, I can just look at that & smile each time remembering Christmases past. I used to beg my mom & dad to let me sleep in the living room & I would just watch that star, the patterns on the walls & ceilings. Now, I have one of my own. So do my brother & sister. How many families do you know that have a thing for disco ball Christmas stars? Probably not many. But, its Christmas to us.
Goodnight, star.

The Christmas Procession

Today, my mother in law & I went to the 8am mass at our Church. My 2nd grader was to be part of the procession at the beginning of mass & he wore a bright blue blanket around his shoulders as a cape, so it had to be a good one, right? It was absolutely amazing. The children behaved beautifully. They walked in telling a very short version of the order of people in the bible "Adam & Eve,...Moses...Joseph & his 11 brothers..." all the way down to Mary & Joseph carrying the baby. My son came in as the father of Joseph, and was so serious about his job! It was so amazingly cute that I could hardly stand it. They are growing up right before our eyes, as another blogger wrote so appropriately about the other day (thank you, Helene, for a nice blog to remember that they are only little for such a short time). Anyhow, during mass we were able to sit with my boys, and the priest gave just an amazing sermon geared toward the children. I love this priest's masses because he really talks to his audience and makes it interesting for them. He had a present that he opened, with all the brew-ha-ha, making a mess w/the paper, having trouble w/the box, etc. But the present inside was a statue of Jesus and he reminded everyone that the best present of all was the present of Jesus.
Just wanted to say, Happy Birthday, Jesus. Thanks for all of my gifts, even if I seem like I'm not grateful, I truely am.

I'm Dreaming of Disney

We are, admittedly, a Disney crazy family. We are members of the Disney Vacation Club, which is a time share type deal, so we go to Disney fairly often. Within a 12 month span ending in April, we went 3 times. But, we love it. Our kids love it. We love to stay at the Beach Club Villas, which is the resort our time share is based from. You can walk to Epcot or MGM from our door, the pool is the coolest ever, we get a villa room which is basically an apartment, we love the extra magic hours so we can stay late when most of the crowd leaves. We know the times of year to go when the crowds are sparse and the lines are short. Now is that time of year. We went last Christmas time. Now, I'm not saying to go for Christmas, but the 2 weeks BEFORE Christmas. This is the time when its slow. And, Disney does everything cool. Especially Christmas. Walking down Main street at night w/the fake snow flakes. MGM & their amazing light displays. Special nights w/cookies & hot cocoa. Ugh, I'm dreaming.
Unfortunately, fate & our income has taken a not so nice turn lately & its going to take a virtual miracle to pull us out of this one. Nights like tonight, when I get an email from Disney reminding me how amazing it is there, I just ache. I feel like I've put us into this bind. This damn head injury. I'm in a field that isn't going to be affected by the economy, and I can't work. My family could be going to Disney, or anywhere else for that matter, if I just worked. What does that say about me? Have I let it all just fall under the bus? I keep praying, and hoping, that there's going to be a day where I wake up and my confidence in myself is restored. I was damn good at what I did, and I liked doing it. And, if I can't work, why can't just 1 house sell that we have on the market? Just 1 for now, that would get us through this.
I'm not trying to be self pitying. It just sucks for so many people this year and it makes it very hard to be in this situation.
So, to end this, I'm going to say a prayer in writing. "Please, Lord, let us find some way to come through this trying time. And, help the people all of the United States that are unsure where their next job/meal/house is going to be. I know that we can do it, just a nudge?"

SNOW!

Yes, it has snowed outside. Just a dusting, mind you, maybe a half inch, but snow none the less. My youngest woke up this morning and said "Mom, its snow! Berry Christmas!". I don't have the heart to correct him, Berry Christmas is just about the cutest thing he could say, of course. There's just something about looking out the window to snow, it makes everything pretty. Our old carriage house, that has seen better days, looks so pretty covered in white. I love it!
My oldest is home today, covered in a rash from head to toe. I have no idea what its from. We have done nothing different, same soap, etc. Yet, last night he said his neck was bumpy and when I checked him out, yep, he's covered in red bumps everywhere. He's itchy, and sleeping for now thanks to the dose of benadryl that I gave him a little while ago. So, off to the doctor's again. If I don't call his nurses every couple of weeks they miss me, you know. It feels like I talk to them more than I talk to some of my girlfriends, but thats how it is when you have 3 boys.
So, Happy December. May the season bring happiness and a little bit of good fortune.