Sunshine

I knew this is how I would be. Today, I feel a little better. The sun is shining, its a beautiful day outside with the smell of cut grass coming in my window. There's a male cardinal bird that is living in my neighbor's yard with his lady friend, so I see those beautiful birds. Somehow, my funk is lifting.
I wish I could stop these swings. Or, hide for 2-3 days each time they occur. Of course, its always when I'm extremely busy and have no time to run away, not that I could even if I needed to anyway. I still have the fog in my head, the faint feeling that I'm not better yet, but I'm on the upswing.
I have extreme PMS. I know, I know, people hate when someone uses that as an excuse. I'm not making excuses here. Unfortunately, since I no longer have periods thanks to a "proceedure" earlier this year, I just don't have the physical symptoms of "that time of the month". So, I feel mental, want to tear apart something, and don't know why until I go, "oh, yea, probably period time".
Also, I so need to loose this weight. If only I could figure it out, it would be so much better. I look at myself and cringe. I'm 5'0" and weigh 175lbs. thats crazy. thats obese. Hopefully, I will get better soon.
Enough whining. On with the day.

Will this ride ever stop spinning?

I feel like I'm never going to get ahead. I'm never going to get the things done that need to be finished. I have so many tasks in front of me, that they seem like I need to climb an impossible mountain. Just when I get something done, something right, I'm reminded that there are 15 other things that I've forgotten. Or screwed up. I don't know which way to go from here.
I started this blog and was nice and witty, even making myself laugh as I typed. Now, I don't know how to laugh. I fell as though I'm never going to loose weight. I'm never going to get the office cleaned up. I'm never going to keep the boys' clothes put away, much less my own. I'm very hormonal the last 2 days, I wish I could stop the tears from coming.
Usually when I feel like this, I'm better the next day. The only reason I haven't been crying my eyes out is that I've been too busy to think about it. I'm sure my husband thinks that Im crazy, maybe I am.

One of those days

Well, I've already messed up my pledge to blog once a week. F*** it. My life as I know it is not exactly easy, and sometimes, no make that all of the time, I can't take it. I wish I could crawl into a hole and disappear. Today, my health insurance notified me that I was cancelled. when I called THEM to make a payment. and I was cancelled as of 4/1/08, not even this month. all because they had raised my premiums and I was $28 short for last month. They had sent me a very confusing letter and on it was my "deadline". I am not an uneducated person, mind you. so if i'm confused, I bet that many people would be.
F***!!!

Also, A Pledge

Note to self:
Try to blog once a week at least. I always feel better after plugging away for a little while, even just to vent. I know I'm no professional blogger now, but watch out world!

Out with the old, In with the new

yes, its final....I have made the step into the 21st century and purchased a new computer! It actually turns on in faster than 2 minutes, doesn't take forever for my typing to appear on the screen, and much more!!! I love it, and my screen is so amazing, compared to what I'm used to this is unreal. Thank goodness for all of the endless people who spend their time updating and making new wonderful things for computer land, I will always love them!
We went to Disneyworld in the craziness of no computer because we had a trip already planned. That makes 3 trips in 11 months. Now, don't get me wrong, I totally love Disney, but when my 2 year old thinks that he should live there, we need to back off a little bit! We were going so often because we had purchased annual passes and wanted to get our money's worth, and we really did. I really enjoy seeing our boys have so much fun, even going 3 times in 1 year hasn't worn off the wonder! But, the trip is not a vacation, we are going too fast and too crazy the entire time we are there. Also, this time we had to stay at Saratoga Springs vs our usual Beach Club Villas, NO COMPARISON! We love Beach Club & will not trade it in for the world. Saratoga is too big and takes too long to get a bus anywhere.
I'm very glad to say that we have all of our taxes done for 2006 & 2007. For some, this may not seem like much of a feat, but for me its amazing considering my tax forms are like 30 pages long. My accountant just sits and shakes his head at me, and I'm Done!!!!! Too crazy!
School's out in 2 weeks, thank God! I'm so done w/it, and I'm not even the one going! My boys are only in 3rd & 1st grades, I hate to see how it is when they're in high school. At least then they will do their homework by themselves!!!!
Ok, on to bigger and better things, like the laundry!!!!
Good Times!