Water, Water, we have Water!

Finally, after over 24 hours, we were able to defrost the pipes leading to our first floor bathroom & we now have water. Luckily, we did this with minimal damage, we only cut out a small panel of drywall in the pantry and another in the bathroom. Since the pipes are run entirely in the walls, there was no direct access to them to apply heat tape or any other device that would be made to fix such a problem.
So, we went about it the old fashioned way. Yep, we got out the hair dryer. And, the space heaters. While one of us was in 1 room holding the hair dryer to the pipes we exposed by tearing out the drywall, the other was watching the faucets, praying for the smallest drip. Then, it came. Finally, we had water flowing in both the hot & cold pipes! Score!
Strange things please me, obviously. But, we have a houseful of people coming over in 2 days & it would have really sucked to make them all walk up the steps to the bathroom.
Two days until Christmas! I'm excited. We are going to try to go to the 10pm mass on Christmas eve if we get all of our guests out of here. I think that would be really cool, plus the boys would already be dressed up from the party so that makes things extra easy for me. My boys are going to be happy this year, somehow we were able to find some great buys on the items that they wanted (thanks to hubby for shopping on Black Friday, actually), and some items that we've had left over from holidays past when we overbought. We didn't do presents for each other this year, we just didn't have the money. That's ok, watching my boys is more than I've ever needed. I never know what to tell anyone to get me, I'm not at my smallest size ever and hate to get clothes, or tell anyone my true size, and I really don't need much else.
Anyhooo, here's to a busy day tomorrow getting finished cleaning up. Merry Christmas, blog world.

Tis the Season

Yesterday, we dropped the boys off at my parents house and headed out to dinner with my brother, sister in law, sister, & brother in law. This is the 4th year in a row that we've been able to do this fun evening, my parents have all the little grandkids (12 & under), while the parents go out to dinner & then we all leave each other to go finish our Christmas business. We had a fun dinner at a steak place & then headed home to wrap up our presents. We are 99% done. Thats quite an accomplishment considering that we have 3 boys, I think. And, today I was able to finish up the wrapping for everyone else, too. For once, I will not be scrambling on Christmas day to get the wrapping done for my nieces & family.
Unfortunately, we woke this morning to no water in our 1st floor bathroom. It seems to have frozen over night. We've had heaters running for the entire day & no luck. The pipes are built into the walls. To get to them, we will have to cut out the walls. Christmas is in 3 days. And, we are having about 25 people over for Christmas eve festivities. Just our luck, of course. And, the beautiful Christmas lights and display that my hubby spent 2 days working on has pretty much been torn to shreads by the extreme wind we've been experiencing.
Also, we decided for some unforseen reason to bring over several more totes and bags full of stuff from our old house that now has to be sorted & put away. The office is a disaster. There's stuff everywhere. And, my cleaning lady (that used to clean for us to pay her rent), quit. The dreams I had of enjoying the days before Christmas are pretty much shattered. Cookies, forgetaboutit. Toilet cleaning & mopping, here I come. What fun, what joy.
On a bright note, I've gotten to spend the weekend w/my family, which I don't do very often. Yesterday, w/my siblings & today, w/kids & everybody out at my brother's house for an impromptu chili supper. I wish so much that we lived closer, it took me over an hour to drive there tonight. I would love to be able to see my mom & dad more often, to be able to pop in & say hi, but that's kindof hard when its a major ordeal to get there. Thank goodness for phone calls & email, but its still not totally the same. Feeling a little melon-colly tonight, I guess.
At least my Christmas star is turning, I can just look at that & smile each time remembering Christmases past. I used to beg my mom & dad to let me sleep in the living room & I would just watch that star, the patterns on the walls & ceilings. Now, I have one of my own. So do my brother & sister. How many families do you know that have a thing for disco ball Christmas stars? Probably not many. But, its Christmas to us.
Goodnight, star.

The Christmas Procession

Today, my mother in law & I went to the 8am mass at our Church. My 2nd grader was to be part of the procession at the beginning of mass & he wore a bright blue blanket around his shoulders as a cape, so it had to be a good one, right? It was absolutely amazing. The children behaved beautifully. They walked in telling a very short version of the order of people in the bible "Adam & Eve,...Moses...Joseph & his 11 brothers..." all the way down to Mary & Joseph carrying the baby. My son came in as the father of Joseph, and was so serious about his job! It was so amazingly cute that I could hardly stand it. They are growing up right before our eyes, as another blogger wrote so appropriately about the other day (thank you, Helene, for a nice blog to remember that they are only little for such a short time). Anyhow, during mass we were able to sit with my boys, and the priest gave just an amazing sermon geared toward the children. I love this priest's masses because he really talks to his audience and makes it interesting for them. He had a present that he opened, with all the brew-ha-ha, making a mess w/the paper, having trouble w/the box, etc. But the present inside was a statue of Jesus and he reminded everyone that the best present of all was the present of Jesus.
Just wanted to say, Happy Birthday, Jesus. Thanks for all of my gifts, even if I seem like I'm not grateful, I truely am.

I'm Dreaming of Disney

We are, admittedly, a Disney crazy family. We are members of the Disney Vacation Club, which is a time share type deal, so we go to Disney fairly often. Within a 12 month span ending in April, we went 3 times. But, we love it. Our kids love it. We love to stay at the Beach Club Villas, which is the resort our time share is based from. You can walk to Epcot or MGM from our door, the pool is the coolest ever, we get a villa room which is basically an apartment, we love the extra magic hours so we can stay late when most of the crowd leaves. We know the times of year to go when the crowds are sparse and the lines are short. Now is that time of year. We went last Christmas time. Now, I'm not saying to go for Christmas, but the 2 weeks BEFORE Christmas. This is the time when its slow. And, Disney does everything cool. Especially Christmas. Walking down Main street at night w/the fake snow flakes. MGM & their amazing light displays. Special nights w/cookies & hot cocoa. Ugh, I'm dreaming.
Unfortunately, fate & our income has taken a not so nice turn lately & its going to take a virtual miracle to pull us out of this one. Nights like tonight, when I get an email from Disney reminding me how amazing it is there, I just ache. I feel like I've put us into this bind. This damn head injury. I'm in a field that isn't going to be affected by the economy, and I can't work. My family could be going to Disney, or anywhere else for that matter, if I just worked. What does that say about me? Have I let it all just fall under the bus? I keep praying, and hoping, that there's going to be a day where I wake up and my confidence in myself is restored. I was damn good at what I did, and I liked doing it. And, if I can't work, why can't just 1 house sell that we have on the market? Just 1 for now, that would get us through this.
I'm not trying to be self pitying. It just sucks for so many people this year and it makes it very hard to be in this situation.
So, to end this, I'm going to say a prayer in writing. "Please, Lord, let us find some way to come through this trying time. And, help the people all of the United States that are unsure where their next job/meal/house is going to be. I know that we can do it, just a nudge?"

SNOW!

Yes, it has snowed outside. Just a dusting, mind you, maybe a half inch, but snow none the less. My youngest woke up this morning and said "Mom, its snow! Berry Christmas!". I don't have the heart to correct him, Berry Christmas is just about the cutest thing he could say, of course. There's just something about looking out the window to snow, it makes everything pretty. Our old carriage house, that has seen better days, looks so pretty covered in white. I love it!
My oldest is home today, covered in a rash from head to toe. I have no idea what its from. We have done nothing different, same soap, etc. Yet, last night he said his neck was bumpy and when I checked him out, yep, he's covered in red bumps everywhere. He's itchy, and sleeping for now thanks to the dose of benadryl that I gave him a little while ago. So, off to the doctor's again. If I don't call his nurses every couple of weeks they miss me, you know. It feels like I talk to them more than I talk to some of my girlfriends, but thats how it is when you have 3 boys.
So, Happy December. May the season bring happiness and a little bit of good fortune.

Thankful

I'm thankful for so many things this year, but here's a few:
-My children, who are the most amazing boys in the entire world. They are all 3 so different:
--my oldest, the wise old soul with his mom's soft heart, smart as a whip, generous, loving, and such a good big brother
--my middle son, my little ball of fire, who loves and gets angry to the extreme. Not everything comes easy but he'll work his tail off if he wants it. Ladies man, goof ball, loves all things army
--my youngest, my baby. 3 years old and thinks he can do everything his brothers do. So headstrong, so bullheaded, quite the dancer (he can do the white man boogie, I'll tell you). Perhaps I baby him too much because I'll never have more, but too bad.
-My husband, who of course gave me my 3 amazing boys. Who's loved me, and grown up with me, for the last 20 years. My best friend, the love of my life
-My house. Its great to be in here finally even as I type in a sea of boxes because my office is the last room to be unpacked. My hubby did an amazing job w/the lights out front and I'm getting started inside. Its going to be beautiful.
-A very uneventful, lazy Thanksgiving day. It was so low key, and delicious. No stress, good food, good family.
-A healthy family. More surgeries this year for my Pop, but looks better than in a long time. My mom's doing well. Brother's & sister's families all good. We had a great Thanksgiving on Saturday w/my family & I really enjoyed it, my nieces are getting so big. Also, my family on hubby's side, I have a great mother in law & her family has embraced me as one of their own.
-Hope for a better financial future. I have a gut feeling there's light at the end of the horizon.
-A great parish and school for my kids, fun for ourselves w/families we're friends with.

Just a glimpse, for sure. I'm thankful for so much more.
Happy Thanksgiving

It's Beginning to Look Alot Like Christmas!

The process has begun. Yes, my friend, we have started decorating this large house. This morning I went with the guys that work for us into our storage and found several, actually over a truck full, of decorations. And, since it was a sunny day (but extremely cold), we started on the outside. My hubby could easily be called Clark Griswald, of the Christmas Vacation fame.
Also, I have to say, this house is beautiful. It is old, and Victorian, and looks amazing with Christmas lights outlining the exterior. And, we have a Santa sleigh and reindeer parked on the side roof. And the entire widow's walk is lined with light up 3 foot candy canes. It gives me chills that this is actually where we call home after all of these years. We have owned this house for 8 years, and this is our first Christmas in it.
Tonight, I went through several of the totes with inside decorations. I have a pretty cool collection of Santa Clauses, I must say. I have a thing for unusual Santa's. And I love snowglobes. Of course, 1 was broken. It never fails because we have so many things stacked up in the storage area.
My 3 year old is totally getting into the whole Christmas thing. He told me Merry Christmas several times as we were outside, watching Daddy on the roof. And, as I was opening things, his excitement was wonderful. This is what its all about. The wonderment and awe in a child during Christmas time is so cool. My 7 year old was walking around with his Santa hat, as cute as ever.
Last year I purchased our first ever fake tree. So, I can actually get my tree up over the next few days and it will still look amazing on Christmas day! I do love a real tree, but the ease of a fake one is just too much to fight with anymore.
So, Happy Christmas season, ye ol' blog. May the good times roll.

My Son, the Musician

My oldest son's class has started learning how to play the recorder. Its a small wind instrument that is often the starting point for music lessons for children. So, for the last week or so he's been bringing it home to practice. Now, don't get me wrong. I love the fact that he's taking up an instrument, the best I can do is pretend to hum a few lines of a song. And, even that's not on the right key. So, he's now learned 3 notes. And, he plays those 3 notes over. And over. And over. I would never say anything negative to him about it. But, I'm going to crack. Thank goodness bedtime is in an hour.
Now, onto other business. Before I get too interrupted, I realize that its been quite some time since I've last posted (sorry, Mom, even though you're my only reader). We actually finally moved into our big house. Its not a mansion or even as big as my sister's house, buts its bigger for us. It has 3 floors, so you can bet my butt is starting to improve. And, until Friday, my washer & dryer were still across the street at the other house. For a family of 5, thats alot of trips across the street for me to do laundry. Often, at 8 or 9 at night, none the less. But, tonight I put my first load of laundry in the basement here and I have to tell you it was bliss. Pure and simple. Crazy that something as simple as going into the basement to do laundry vs running across the street in 30 degree weather can make me so happy, but it does. So, now that I can do laundry and cook here, life is good. Which is a stretch for me to say, sometimes I have a hard time with day to day life. But, we went to breakfast w/my mom & dad (today my dad is 69 years old, and you can bet thats not being lost w/my dad. My mom's going to be hearing about that for the next 12 months), then to an awful Rams game, then to my middle son's soccer game, then home to filets that hubby grilled. Not bad, I must say myself.
do, do, do, do, do, do, do....(thats the best I can say for the sounds coming out of my son's instrument right now)....I'm going to be hearing that in my dreams.

Sunday Night

I have learned that Sunday nights are not an easy time. With young boys that have the spirit of their father, I have to corral everyone and get them calmed down after weekend crazy people time. I would love to be a fly on the wall on one of these evenings, as I seem to become the crabby mom from H-E-double hockey sticks and my family unravels in front of me. Hubby is usually part of the problem, mind you. Wrestling the boys is all their fault, don't you know? So, they will be in a jumble on the couch, arms and legs flying, until I interrupt. Then, getting them into the shower and in bed in time..good luck. How will 3 boys calm down enough by bedtime? Somehow, they all end up in their respective areas. For now.
But, there's a strange smell coming from my kitchen, trash maybe? And the floor, is it supposed to be speckled? Doesn't everyone's toilet area smell like everyone misses at least half of the time? And, did I even think about breakfast for the morning (please, oh please let there be enough milk) or lunch to pack for the big boy? What about clothes, are there uniforms clean? Or, do I need to do a load of laundry before bed (or get the detergent out of the back of my van because I'm out....)....
Whew, and its only quarter to nine. I can do it....

Just a Little Rambling

So often throughout the day I think "ooo, that's something I could write about". I even will play with it in my head, kindof writing it ahead of time. Then, by the time I get by the computer, forgetaboutit. I can't think of a thing that I had gone over. The oh-so cleaver lines, the witty remarks. All gone.
Then, life gets in the way again. As I'm writing this, I'm on hold with the utility company because they started service in the wrong apartment for a tenant who speaks very poor English. Now, the city thinks I put someone into an apartment without a proper inspection because of a clerical error. Which is of course what happened.
My house is a mess. My laundry is piling up. There's too much for 1 human to do everyday. I admire women who keep their house, children, and husbands happy at all times, but I can honestly say that I have no idea how it could be possible. Do the just not sleep? Because, I barely sleep and still can't get done. Do they clean/cook/have sex all at the same time? They must. And, to top it off, these women also look good. Like, not 50 lbs over weight and fix their hair kind of good. I'd love it if they'd just whisper their secret to me. I promise, I won't tell...

LaFesta!

Today was our annual fall festival at our parish called LaFesta. Yes, its Italian. No,, we are not Italian. My children are totally what you would call "Heines 57": a little bit of this, a little bit of that. But, I'm pretty sure that no where in that mix is anything from Italy.
It was an amazingly beautiful day for October in St. Louis. Almost too hot, actually. We started with the large plate of fried foods, toasted ravioli (a St. Louis original), mushrooms, and arancini (rice ball filled with meat sauce & peas). After that, we started on the game booths. Its amazing how fast a family of five can spend money at game booths. From the duck pond to the poker game, you can bet we were having a great time.
My 3 year old crashed out midway, in the middle of all of the hub-bub, and I sat out the festivities for a little while so he could snooze. Its amazing how a sleeping kid can make people stop and smile, but that same child going crazy & hollerin' can make them cringe. I left a little while later with that same 3 year old, now yelling that he wanted to stay at "festa" and my oldest, who has a fever now and a sore throat. Hubby & boy #2 stayed behind for a few more hours of LaFesta fun.
I have to say how much I enjoy our little neighborhood. When we first started here, I thought that it was going to be hard to fit in and make friends. Now, we have so many friends here that I think nothing of letting the reins a little looser and allowing my boys to run around the games with their friends, just like we did when we were kids. Hubby & I both walk around, talking to people, playing games, and just enjoying ourselves at these events. It feels very "old school", just like when I was a kid growing up in good ol' Dogtown. I remember my mom & dad having lots of friends like we have now. I know that if my boys needed something or got hurt, there's 20 people nearby them that would gladly help. Its a nice feeling. Its like home.

Twenty Year Reunion

This weekend was my husband's 20 year high school reunion. I graduated the year after him from the same school & we were high school sweethearts, so I went with him. We had an evening out at a bar on Friday night and an event at our school on Saturday night.
Friday night at the bar was fun. We were with the 3 other guys that we have stayed close with through the years & their spouses, and then many old friends strolled in. It was alot of fun to see so many people we had been friends with back in school. He of course knew many that I didn't, isn't that funny being just 1 year apart in school? But, our school was big for a Catholic school, I think his class had 350 & my class had about the same. I left around 12 & he came home about 3am, then I got up & we talked about so many of our old friends.
Saturday night was fun. The event location was a bummer, $50 a head for crappy appetizers and drinks. They closed the place down at 10:45. The people more than made up for the fact that we were in our school, it was really great to see old friends. And to make new friends. We became friendly with a couple that the wife was hubby's classmate. They are also in the Disney Vacation Club and we really enjoyed swapping Disney stories. Then, turned out he was Greek, too so that was also a fun topic. One girl in particular was great for me to see, her & I became friends I think as a result of my relationship w/hubby, but not dependent upon it. I sometimes forget that I had a life before him/apart from him back then, its all so blurry now. She reminded me of some very fun times that we used to have together. Gosh, I can't express how much I enjoyed being a teenager. I'll be honest, we were not the best kids but boy did we have a good time.
So, 20 years down, 20 more to go. Its amazing that we've been through this path together and exciting to think about the future.
Oh, and by the way, he was still the best looking guy in the room!

Just help me sleep

I'm so tired today, I could just sleep all day long. Of course, I can't sleep at night, which is coo-coo, but true. We have spent the day cleaning the house that we are living in because we have a showing tomorrow evening. Now, this house hasn't been shown in ages, so the prospect is very exciting. However, its become quite a mess in the last 2 months of us living here. I spent the day (well, a few hours of it at least) cleaning out my closet. Tell me how a closet can get so bad in less than 2 months--could it be that I'm a pack rat and am not good at taking care of the house? Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner! Yep, my idea of cleaning up the mess is putting it in my room. Not a good idea since my room is right next to the living room.
So, now I go to tackle the big boys' room, if I don't come out in 3 days, send in a search party.

The Sleepover

My boys are hosting their best friends over tonight for a sleepover. Mind you, its not a slumber party, thats for girls. Boys, they do sleepovers. We're very fortunate that my 4th grader & 2nd grader are best friends with boys that are brothers themselves. They are blonde headed, about the same size and shape as mine, and very good boys. I could easily pass them off as mine if I had to! I love to watch/listen to them interact, especially when they think that I'm not around. It also helps an amazing amount that my 3 year old thinks the world of these boys. So, life is good on a night like tonight. I made homemade pizzas (ok, premade pizza shells, premade sauce, cheese-but thats as close as it gets for me), they've been playing games, and now they've just settled into the living room with the Speed Racer movie that just came out on DVD. All of this after a very full day so hopefully they'll sleep some tonight.
Now, I'm one tired mom. I'm going to go get my book and settle in...good night.

My Morning & My Blogs That I Read

Well, its now 7:55. Whew. On Mondays & Fridays, thats my time to slow down. I get up between 6-6:30, lay out everyone's clothes (including my husband's), wake everyone up, get my oldest in the shower, start getting breakfast on the table, checking the school lunch to see if my boys will eat it and if not, make lunches, hurry them along with the dressing (for some reason this seems to be most difficult thing in the universe), find their belts that they swear they put away, decide if we need jackets, get my youngest up & dressed to drive with me, get dressed myself, wash my face & brush my teeth, find the keys...drive to school. Wish them both the best of days, say goodbye & watch them walk away as my young men. Get home again, settle little guy down in front of Blues Clues, pour my Dt. Mtn Dew, and off to the computer.
This is my cherished few minutes. Will I get to actually write today? I am getting to where when something happens, I imagine what I'll write about it. I enjoy doing this, even if its just for the wild unknown internet, some faceless space where everything resides. This is a type of therapy for me, and I would bet for many of us "mom-bloggers" out there. I truely enjoy what I'm doing when I sit down.
I also love reading what others have read. I read about a wonderful mom w/2 sets of twins, God Bless Her Soul! She writes such wonderful stories, and boy do I understand how hard it is to have them 1 at a time, but 2! And to have 2 sets! I gotta love her for keeping her sanity and for making me laugh and smile.
Another blog I read loyally is about organizing. This is my dream, but I don't know if I'll ever attain it. I'm a stacker, myself. Yep, stack everything in the corner. On my desk. In the closet. But, most of the time I'm pretty good about knowing what stack has what I'm looking for, that's organized, right?
Another mom I'm going to mention is written by a mother of 4 who raises horses & dogs. Lots & lots of dogs. She also has an amazing children's clothing line that she does in her spare time. My Lord, I could only imagine her days. Oh, yeah, and 1 of her children has special needs, but is a cute as a dickens in the pictures. I feel crazy w/3 kids & 1 cat, and feel like I never have time for myself. I guess when you glimpse into other people's lives you really see what the human spirit can handle.
The last person I'm going to mention lives in St. Louis, just like me. She is a much younger mother of 2 than I am (twenty something vs almost forty), but an established writer. It is actually through her old column in the Post Dispatch that I found her blog, and then started reading blogs from there. I really enjoy her stories, she writes with an amazing flare. She is always battling for blog rights and working hard so that the rest of us will be able to claim our own writing as our own property. You go, girl. Keep up the writing, we love it. I also have to hand it to her, she homeschools. While part of me would love to do such a thing, the other part loves the days when they're gone. Also, I was fortunate to find a Catholic school/parish that we totally love and that is very progressive in technology, art, science, foreign language, etc. Not all of them are, and I know the neighborhood where they live and unfortunately our Diocese has closed most of the schools around there.
So, my youngest has just joined me whinning. Time to leave my little break and get back to mom-ing.

My Son the Headbanger

My husband & I are old 80's rockers. What can I say? I admit it. I love Metallica. Even though I'm a 37 year old mom of 3 and totally not what you would think of as a Metallica fan, I am still a headbanger at heart. This being said, I have a few of their albums on my ipod. Funny thing about my ipod, though, is that I never seem to get to use it. My almost 10 year old son has it most of the time. So, now he's a metal head like his mommy & daddy.
Its not surprising, since we've been listening to Metallica since he was in my tummy. I even think that my husband & I were going out for a long drive (like we used to do before we had children) and listening blissfully & very loudly to a Metallica CD when I said to him that it would be funny if he ended up liking this music.
Now, onto the reason for this story: Metallica is coming in concert. My hubby's first words about it were not "let's go!" but rather "I'm taking my boy!". When I just bought the tickets online this morning, my son was watching over my shoulder anxiously, asking a million questions and going on & on about it to the point that I had to shoo him away. I somehow was able to secure great seats for them. (And will make sure that there's ear plugs to join them!)
The headbanger, 80's girl in me wants to say "hey, I want to go!". But, the mom in me loves that my 2 biggest boys are going (hubby & boy #1). Strange thing to share w/your children, I agree. But I think its pretty cool that something my husband loves, his boy now loves too.
This isn't his first concert, though. A few weeks ago Bruce Springsteen was in town & they went to that show on a spur of the moment. Pretty cool that his first 2 concerts are The Boss & now Metallica.
Now, I just have to dig out one of hubby's old concert t-shirts & he'll be the coolest little headbanger there!

Never Forget

Today is 9-11.
I think as a country we have forgotten what happened on that horrible day 7 years ago.
I think we have reached a level of complacency with regards to terrorist acts. We've started thinking it couldn't happen again. That we are safe as a country and no one can hurt us.
We Are Wrong.
I am not a political person at all. I don't think this is a matter of Democrat or Republican. It is a matter of being American. We need to remember that this act, this senseless act of violence against women, children, men..mostly civilians that were at work, or on their way to see loved ones, or returning home from a trip, occurred because someone out there felt that they had the right to destroy what was not theirs to take. And, as long as people like Osama bin Laden are out there, these threats to our way of life are strong. These attacks were not the last terrorist attacks we will see on US soil, I'm afraid.
I remember that day so well that the hair on my arms is raised and my heart is beating fast as I type. I had a small baby, just 7 months old, and a toddler home. My husband & I were together, which was rare on a day like that, and watching the Today show. I loved Katie Couric then, I don't get to watch the evening news now, its dinner time. As we were watching they were trying to figure out what had happened to the first tower of the World Trade Center, when we saw the side burst into flames on the second tower. As they played back another angle, I'll never forget Matt Lauer saying it was a plane. We were freaking out. My husband's mom was in North Carolina at her sisters & was supposed to fly in a few days, thank God she wasn't coming home that day.
Then, we watched the TV in terror as the events unfolded. As they were describing that there were planes that the control towers had lost contact with. As the towers crumbled. As the Pentagon was hit. As the plane with those amazing passengers that fought the terrorists crashed. All day long. The devistation. The people this event effected.
I remember the next day how quiet it was outside with no air travel. It was eerie. It was fitting.
Perhaps each year we should make 9-11 a day without air travel just to remember.
So, I wanted to just say that I remember. I pray for those that lost loved ones, I pray for our country. Today, we should all just pause.

I REMEMBER.

Finally, She Sleeps

My wonderful Aunt We passed away on Sunday afternoon. Apparently, it was a very peaceful passing, she simply went to sleep. I'm so glad that at the end it wasn't painful, or scary. She had her children with her and was able to go quietly.
She has a crowd waiting for her up in heaven, as most of us do. Her husband has been there without her for 25 years, I'm sure that he is very happy right now. Two of her children are there also, how nice their reunion must be about now.
My mom & I were talking and she asked me what form of ourselves is in heaven. Are we the age when we die, or something else? My reply is that I believe that we are in heaven as we see ourselves. For example, I see myself as about 18, short, skinny, blonde and pretty. This woman who looks back at me from the mirror, almost 40 and chubby, that's not the me in my mind's eye.
I'm sure that the Aunt We that's up there isn't the frail, tiny woman that she had become at the end. I think that she's young, and vital. A head full of dark hair and standing strong. She was always such an amazing woman in my eyes, almost larger than life. Also, she's going to be with her love of her life, and he is still 25 years younger. I can see them now, both young and happy to be together. In their amazing house that they built with their own hands, up on top of the hill. Or, younger still, just at the age that they started out in life. Like the picture the kids had placed in the hospital room of a bright eyed young couple.
I'm sure that the Bible says more about this, but I'd like to think that we have some say in how we are for eternity.
I love you, Aunt We. Thank you for being the amazing woman you were. Thank you for loving me and being there for me. Thank you for everything.

The Trifecta

We took the day off on Saturday, no kids, no work, no craziness, and went to the DuQuoin State Fair to see the harness races. Strange choice for a day off, I believe, however we had a reason. A good friend of my husband's family is one of the owners of a harness racing horse, DeweyCheathamnHowe, who was racing in the final race of the day and was the favorite for the win. I was a racing virgin, you could say. I have never been to any horse race of any kind. It was actually really cool. We were able to sit with our friends and their group. We watched several races before the final event so we were able to understand what was happening.

I made a bet. My husband sent me off with the racing form and said "pick what you want, here's some money". Now, I've been to the casino's here in Missouri. Its nothing to spend $20 there. So, I placed $20 on the Trifecta bet. Apparently, that's a pretty big sum of money for the Trifecta.

The race was exciting, to say the least. Our hearts were pumping, will Dewey (which is what those of us in the "group" called him) win? Will he defeat his foes and win another amazing sum of money? The passed the first turn, and he was 2nd. By the second turn, he had gained the lead. Oh no, a racing enthusiast may say, you don't want your horse in 1st for the whole race. Can he do it? Will he win?

Of course, its Dewey we're talking about. He took the race beautifully. It was amazing. My heart was pumping like we had just won the World Series. Then, we strolled down to the Winner's Circle with the owners.

HOW COOL IS THAT? It was way cool. If you see a short, chubby blonde in the back, yep, thats me. Since I'm 5 ft tall, however, I doubt you can see me in any pictures. I'm sure you can see my hubby, though, he's the devilishly handsome fella with the sunglasses.

Oh, and that Trifecta? I won. Of course since all the horses I picked were really good, it only paid out 8 to 1, but that's $140 that I didn't have before the race, so its all good.

All in all, a pretty cool day, I must say. We drove back home after some ridiculous fried food from a booth called "Fried What?", I had a fried snickers bar. Totally gross & yet so yummy. Just enough to hurt your teeth, I shudder just thinking about it.

So, Dewey won, we ate gross fried food, and drove the 2 hours home. We were by ourselves and actually really had a good day. Thanks, babe, I needed that.

A Day Off

My husband & I are taking the day off. Together. Without children. I can honestly say that I have no idea the last time this has happened. I have the most amazing mother in law, she has had the kids most days this week & still is pushing us out the door to get away. I'm in the show-me-state, you know, so I won't really believe it until we are about 50 miles out of town and I can take a breath.
I know my boys need a fun day, too, but that will be tomorrow. For today, its just the 2 of us. Do we remember how to do that? Its so funny to think we were together for 10 years before our first son was born. What did I do every evening, was it an amazing thing to sleep in our bed alone together, without little feet in our backs or faces? How could I have possibly spent the time, which I have so little of now.
So, off we go into the wild blue yonder.
Hello, old friend...remember me?

OH MY GOSH SOMEONE READ MY BLOG!

I know this sounds childish, but yesterday, for the first time, someone has read my blog. I'm kindof excited, I didn't think I'd ever be read by anyone but myself. Thank you, ladies, for reading, it was very nice of you to leave your thoughts to me. I really appreciate the kind wishes. As of right now, we are in a holding pattern w/my aunt, and your prayers do help.
I have this crazy dream of becoming a writer. My husband always tells me that I could do it, but I never knew how to start. I think that blogging has given me some idea of what it would be like to actually sit down and type. Just start with my thoughts, you know? Kindof crazy when you think that I'm actually a pharmacist and extremely horrible w/english, grammar, etc. Give me an algebra equation any day of the week, but proper pronunciation, forgetaboutit! So, I'll pretend I'm working hard here at my computer, putting my thoughts out there in cyperspace. And, enjoying it all the way.

Aunt We

Its been a while. I haven't had much time to breath much less blog. So many different things, where do I begin?
My Aunt We, short for Marie, is dying. She has been placed under heavy sedation in the hospice unit of the hospital and will only be here on earth for 3 to 5 more days. I say this with a very heavy heart. You see, Aunt We was the strong, oldest sister of my mother's 7 siblings. She was the one that took care of everyone else, she was the rock. Its so hard to see her now, thin, sick, bald from chemo, just a distant vision of her old self. She should have been the one to stay forever.
After all that our family has been through in the last few years, you would think we would all be fine. Aunt We buried her husband 25 years ago, her oldest son & oldest daughter are both deceased also. But, she persevered. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer over 3 years ago, and has come back fighting.
That damn cancer came back, this time with a vengeance. It spread to her brain, and now to her abdomen. Her intestines have virtually shut down and now, the pain is horrible. She has been sedated and may never wake up again.
Bless you, Aunt We, I love you very much. I just know that Uncle Joe, Joey, & Debbie are all up there waiting for you right now, I guess we've had the luxury of having you this long and its their turn. I hope that this horrible stage doesn't last long, that you pass quietly, and your pain is gone. You'll be with your hubby again, good ol' Papa Joe, I'm sure that he's smiling, smoking his cigarette and drinking his coffee, knowing you'll be next to him soon.
Much Love,
Teresa

Back Home Again

We are moving back into our 1st house that we've ever owned. Its a strange situation, really, and I don't have enough time to relate the why's or why-not's. Just suffice it to say, I feel like I've gone home. Yes, this house that we've lived in for the last 3 years has been home, just because we were in it. But, walking into that other house, climbing into my bed at night, I have a peace that I haven't felt in a while. My almost 3 year old has never lived in this house, but he's taking to it very well. Also, my husband did the most amazing remodeling to the place since we left that I don't want to leave it! We are going to only stay here for a few weeks, actually, because we are moving into our beautiful victorian home that was built in the late 1800's, that needed quite a bit of fixing up to make it livable. That, will be exciting. For now, though, I'll just keep on going.

My Life: The Ride on a Swing

It feels like every other time I write my mood changes. One time, I'm happy, another I'm down again. Honestly, I'm down most of the time, I just try to act like I'm up. It may last even a full day. Then, it hits me again. The headache. The anxiety. The itches all over. My desire to scream and cry and why me? Why do I act like this when my family is amazing, my husband is great, my children are wonderful. But me, not so much. I feel like Santa when I look in the mirror, the "shook when "s"he laughed like a bowl full of jelly" part. My head hurts. All. The. Time. I'm tired, all the time. We are trying to move, get paperwork ready to sell a big building, fix up the house we're moving into and pack up the one that we live in, work on selling ZRII, manage all of our properties, ,, oh, yeah, do I have kids to take care of, too? Not very well, unfortunately. I think that the WII has become my babysitter. I should be paying it. They haven't gotten their bikes out 1 time this summer, and its almost August. I keep thinking that praying is going to help. Or, the outrageous dosage of Lexapro that I take. Or, I'll just wake up and it will all be better. Oh, how I wish....

St. Louis Zrii

I am so excited about this new adventure that we are embarking on. We have become ZRII representatives here in St. Louis, MO. This new business is so exciting, I can't wait for it to continue to take off. I really like the product, it seems to be doing great things for both my husband and myself. Also, even my mom, the hardest woman to convince, has begun taking it and has noticed a big difference. Lets keep this going!
check me out at: www.stlouis.myzrii.com

Finally, A Contract

Keep all fingers and toes crossed. We've just received a contract on a property that we own that is a major money drain as well as a lot of hassle. Its way below our asking price, but at this point all I want to do is sign and run away from it. Please let this go through. It would take a major pain away as well as over 3K a month in mortgage payments. Please.

ZRII, ZRII, ZRII, all the way home

Well, we've done it! I have started a new business selling an absolutely amazing product called ZRII. It is an herbal supplement that is a combination of 7 fruits & herbs and is endorsed by Deepak Chopra. I am so excited. This product could actually give us financial freedom that we do not have right now. We were doing amazingly well in the real estate market until of course the bottom dropped out. Right now, we need something. And, since I can't go back to work as a pharmacist since I can hardly remember anything, something has to be done. I looked into Mary Kay, but everyone and their sister sells Mary Kay and there is very little money to be made there. Here, I can actually see the benefits from this, I don't have to carry inventory, and the money potential is Amazing. Did I say Amazing? Its Amazing. Keep your fingers crossed, o' internet, on the post that no one reads, that this becomes the solution to our problems. If you are interested in my website, go to www.stlouis.myzrii.com. Watch out world, here comes the ZRII!!

I WANT IT!!!

This is the phrase that my 2 year old has been screaming all evening long. And crying. And sitting in time out. Mind you, he's almost 3, so he understands whats going on. He knows that just repeating himself, oh, about a gazillion times, will make the item happen. NOT
Better go calm things down...

Mary Kay Calling

Hello, I'm your new Mary Kay Beauty Consultant. Yes, I've taken the big leap into pyramid sales. Kindof silly for a woman who can earn over $50 an hour just working at her given profession, but this way I can still be at home and work days for that same $50. I am kindof excited to be doing something, though. Also, I have to begin selling many things on ebay over the next few weeks. My hubby has gone a little crazy on the sales racks lately and we have a few extras, to say the least.
My boys are now home for the summer. They are going crazy already staying home. My oldest has started a swim team at 9am M-Th every week. It is not an easy task to get 3 children plus myself out of the house every morning. Its summer, dammit, I should be sleeping! So, I was all syked up about not going this morning. And, my 2 year old woke up for the day at 6am. This is the same child who will not get up before 10am normally.
Right now, my 2 year old is running after the big boys. They kindof play a tag game but its really just stay away from the little guy and make him run around the house. He thinks that there's no one cooler in the world than his big brothers, I wish they would just understand that instead of thinking he's just a pain. Some day, I will wish for the loud screams, I know that. Right now, I can just smile and tell them not to hurt each other too bad. Such is life in our house.

Fever

Yesterday, my 2 year old woke up from a short nap with a raging fever. No other symptoms at all. All day, he just wanted to lay on my shoulder and sleep. This is the child that never, never stops mind you. I felt so bad for him & all he could tell me was that his forehead hurt, which could have just been from the fever. Finally, after giving Tylenol at 10pm, he slept a little. He would not eat or drink anything the entire day and that made me worry, I've been in the hospital with him before for dehydration. Then, he woke up at 4am very hot. I have another dose of Tylenol and he finally drank water. Then, he ate some dry cereal. Then graham crackers. Then drank gatorade. Then milk. Never went back to sleep mind you. Now, its 8:20am and he's running around like nothing ever happened. And talking and playing, just like normal. Keep fingers crossed, lets keep it this way!

My Baby's Baptism

My baby was baptized today. Yes, he's my baby. But, he's also 2& 1/2 years old. Which, would not be a problem except there was 6 children getting baptized at the same time today. Yes, six. I would have gladly changed to another day when my pastor was doing the baptizing, but was not told that there were so many. Needless to say, my son, the crazy one of my family as it is, STOLE THE SHOW. So, I felt sorry for the other parents with there little babies, as cute as could be. We were the 1st to get the water on the forehead, and did he scream! and, continue to scream for the entire rest of the service, even though we kept promising bubble gum after the ceremony! Needless to say, the balance of the ceremony was taken up by what my little guy had to say. And, I couldn't be prouder. So what that I waited 2 years. Kiss my ass. My boy even said "Baptism" when the priest asked what we were here for. No other baby even knew what he or she was doing. Mine was just pissed about the water, and kept saying that he hated Fr. ..., no water on his head any more! What I love is that our pastor loves us, since my hubby is always doing work up there for free mind you, but that also we are so involved in our parish. So, he laughed off our little one's outburst, and was quite a sport.
So, welcome to our faith, Little One. May I be worthy enough to pass our Catholicism along to you.
Love,
Momma

Sunshine

I knew this is how I would be. Today, I feel a little better. The sun is shining, its a beautiful day outside with the smell of cut grass coming in my window. There's a male cardinal bird that is living in my neighbor's yard with his lady friend, so I see those beautiful birds. Somehow, my funk is lifting.
I wish I could stop these swings. Or, hide for 2-3 days each time they occur. Of course, its always when I'm extremely busy and have no time to run away, not that I could even if I needed to anyway. I still have the fog in my head, the faint feeling that I'm not better yet, but I'm on the upswing.
I have extreme PMS. I know, I know, people hate when someone uses that as an excuse. I'm not making excuses here. Unfortunately, since I no longer have periods thanks to a "proceedure" earlier this year, I just don't have the physical symptoms of "that time of the month". So, I feel mental, want to tear apart something, and don't know why until I go, "oh, yea, probably period time".
Also, I so need to loose this weight. If only I could figure it out, it would be so much better. I look at myself and cringe. I'm 5'0" and weigh 175lbs. thats crazy. thats obese. Hopefully, I will get better soon.
Enough whining. On with the day.

Will this ride ever stop spinning?

I feel like I'm never going to get ahead. I'm never going to get the things done that need to be finished. I have so many tasks in front of me, that they seem like I need to climb an impossible mountain. Just when I get something done, something right, I'm reminded that there are 15 other things that I've forgotten. Or screwed up. I don't know which way to go from here.
I started this blog and was nice and witty, even making myself laugh as I typed. Now, I don't know how to laugh. I fell as though I'm never going to loose weight. I'm never going to get the office cleaned up. I'm never going to keep the boys' clothes put away, much less my own. I'm very hormonal the last 2 days, I wish I could stop the tears from coming.
Usually when I feel like this, I'm better the next day. The only reason I haven't been crying my eyes out is that I've been too busy to think about it. I'm sure my husband thinks that Im crazy, maybe I am.

One of those days

Well, I've already messed up my pledge to blog once a week. F*** it. My life as I know it is not exactly easy, and sometimes, no make that all of the time, I can't take it. I wish I could crawl into a hole and disappear. Today, my health insurance notified me that I was cancelled. when I called THEM to make a payment. and I was cancelled as of 4/1/08, not even this month. all because they had raised my premiums and I was $28 short for last month. They had sent me a very confusing letter and on it was my "deadline". I am not an uneducated person, mind you. so if i'm confused, I bet that many people would be.
F***!!!

Also, A Pledge

Note to self:
Try to blog once a week at least. I always feel better after plugging away for a little while, even just to vent. I know I'm no professional blogger now, but watch out world!

Out with the old, In with the new

yes, its final....I have made the step into the 21st century and purchased a new computer! It actually turns on in faster than 2 minutes, doesn't take forever for my typing to appear on the screen, and much more!!! I love it, and my screen is so amazing, compared to what I'm used to this is unreal. Thank goodness for all of the endless people who spend their time updating and making new wonderful things for computer land, I will always love them!
We went to Disneyworld in the craziness of no computer because we had a trip already planned. That makes 3 trips in 11 months. Now, don't get me wrong, I totally love Disney, but when my 2 year old thinks that he should live there, we need to back off a little bit! We were going so often because we had purchased annual passes and wanted to get our money's worth, and we really did. I really enjoy seeing our boys have so much fun, even going 3 times in 1 year hasn't worn off the wonder! But, the trip is not a vacation, we are going too fast and too crazy the entire time we are there. Also, this time we had to stay at Saratoga Springs vs our usual Beach Club Villas, NO COMPARISON! We love Beach Club & will not trade it in for the world. Saratoga is too big and takes too long to get a bus anywhere.
I'm very glad to say that we have all of our taxes done for 2006 & 2007. For some, this may not seem like much of a feat, but for me its amazing considering my tax forms are like 30 pages long. My accountant just sits and shakes his head at me, and I'm Done!!!!! Too crazy!
School's out in 2 weeks, thank God! I'm so done w/it, and I'm not even the one going! My boys are only in 3rd & 1st grades, I hate to see how it is when they're in high school. At least then they will do their homework by themselves!!!!
Ok, on to bigger and better things, like the laundry!!!!
Good Times!

My Computer is dying!

I feel like I'm in the process of mourning an old friend. My computer is in its final days. My screen keeps flickering, and yesterday my computer stopped 3 times and gave me "fatal error" screens. I'm worried because 1. I hate change with regards to computers, 2. I have no money for a new computer, and c. I have no money for a computer! My boys are unable to work on their things, I can't keep track of my bank account, I'll loose so much stuff! I did just back up everything necessary on my hard drive, that took 20 cds. I went to Best Buy to look at computers and the guy was so like "you need a MAC!", that he scared me away. I can't spend $1,500 on a computer right now, I just need to get online & do my paperwork for our buildings! Yesterday was my birthday, I am now 37. yuck. that's supposed to be my mom's age. Anyway, I'm getting ready to go to a play this afternoon, I better go.....
'

The Laundry Monster

It seems to me that there is some evil monster at work in my house. Not a big green one with hairy ears, or even a version of the Star Wars Banta creature. No, this monster is the laundry monster. It lurks in corners, under the covers. It duplicates dirty clothes by the dozens. Somehow, just when I think there's a light at the end of the tunnel and I can finally be finished, 2 more loads surface. Lurking....Waiting for just the right moment to spring out and BOOM! I need to do more washing. And folding. And putting away. The last 2 by the way are where I fail miserably. Often through the years I have been known to spend several minutes in the middle of a large pile of clean clothes trying to find just 1 matched sock or school pants for my boys. Or, I'll get everything clean, put away into the drawers in everyone's room, and then I forget to hang up the shirts in the closets. I hate hanging clothes. Why can't they come pre-hung? With some strange little button that you push and poof, out from the collar springs a hanger? If only we could live in the days like the Jetsons. Where you just go into a little room, a robot gives you a shower, shaves your legs (even in the winter time), fixes your hair and makeup, and then puts on just the right outfit for the day. No wrinkles included, please. If only...

I love the snow

We received 10 inches of snow today. Its pretty cool outside when its like this. The kids toys that we had out for a beautiful day on Sunday are now all buried. The boys & I even ventured outside today but it was just really cold & windy, plus the snow was still coming down. Can you believe that they will probably have school tomorrow? I can't imagine having to drive them there on streets that are mostly not plowed. My van couldn't clear the top of the snowfall because of the ground effects. Luckily, my hubby will drive them in his big ol' truck.

Clash of the 2 year old

My 2 year old son has decided recently that he is going to become the loudest member of our household. Pretty big feat since he has 2 brothers, 7 & 9 years old, and my husband who has to try to be louder than everyone. Lately, he has started becoming very surley, with a crabby face and growls to match. Right now, my 9 year old is still doing his homework after almost 2 hours and his baby brother keeps running through the kitchen yelling and howling. Granted, his homework could have been done while the little one was down in the family room, but he somehow "lost track of time staring into space" and is now facing the onslaught of the little brother brigade. Sometimes I can't help but laugh at the craziness called "my household", othertimes I feel like a cry might just be in order. Either way, I must accept this thing called motherhood and move on......

One year down, one to go!

I DID IT! I finished my 2006 taxes, took them to my accountant who by the way complemented me on being so well organized, and we are even going to get a refund. Over $5,000. I cannot believe it. We have been working our butts off and with the real estate market in the toilet, we are going to be taking a loss that year for the 1st time in a long time. That kindof sucks, of course, but we'll come out of it okay like always.
I cannot believe how hard it has become for me to take my 2 year old, "L" into preschool. He cries, and clings, and I just feel like an ogre. Of course, when I get there to pick him up, he's totally fine and always says that he has had fun & wants to go back again. Then the next school day comes and the whole thing starts over. I think that I may just pull him out of school after March & try again next year. Its just so nice to have a few minutes all by myself. Right now, I'm the only one home. Pretty unusual since I'm the stay at home mom of 3 boys under the age of 10 & the wife of a self employed man who can & will take off whenever he feels like it. I have an entire hour to myself. After I finish here I should go do my dishes, but I want to just go lay down & sleep. I'm just such a ball of fun, I don't know what to do with myself!
Tomorrow night we are going to the mouse races at our children's school. I am not going to drink alcohol. I intend on being sober because last year I got drunk. I go out so rarely, that sometimes I try to act like I'm actually in my 20's and childless. I feel like I'm getting too old for that now. That, and since I have this stupid head injury, I don't want everyone thinking that "Teresa's got a head injury but she's always drinking.....she must be full of it". So, we'll see how I do with my intentions.
Now, onto bigger & better things.....my bed for 45 minutes!

UGHHHH!!!! I hate taxes!

Today I have spent my day combing over bank statements to seperate out each bill into each category so I can get my taxes ready. Why don't I have a program for this? Because I am not right, that's why! It would make perfect sense for me to pay the $150 bucks on quickbooks but that would just be too easy, wouldn't it? Dear Lord, please kill me now! Actually, he can't because I have to finish my taxes!!!!!!

My husband, by the grace of God, has been cleaning out each and every nook and cranny in this house to get it organized. I, on the other hand, am rebelling and telling him to stay out of my bathroom drawers and let me be with just a little mess somewhere. Isn't that totally silly? I know that in the end, I'll end up organizing it, too. But for now, its my own little piece of insanity. By the way, did I say that I'm going crazy with my taxes? I'm trying to pretend to my hubby that all is well & that I have it all under control, which of course is a complete and total farce. I have no idea how I'll ever make the appt on time, but I'm going to try.
So, for now, here we go, say a prayer, kiss a frog, whatever it takes to get me done on time!!!